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I made these Hot Cross Buns last night to celebrate Good Friday today. Ever since I first read about these little bready cakes on PW’s website, I’ve wanted to make them. But I went with Cooking Light’s recipe because I’m being health-conscious (except for the pizza and cookies I had tonight).

It may have been my first time baking with yeast AND using the hook attachment on my mixer.

Yeah, I’m not a bread-maker. I think you can tell…they didn’t rise enough (I don’t think) and taste kind of firm…I’m thinking if they rose more, they would have been more fluffy.

I didn’t use lemon zest because I never buy lemons (though I should for recipes) or currants (because I’ve never bought currants and don’t know really what they are)…I doubled my golden raisins. So the Cooking Light recipe is probably delish…the pics in the magazine look so, but mine are mediocre.

I think leaning side by side with a bread expert would help…kneading and rising is an art. Anyhow, I tried.

During the day, I read and was moved by several blogs and tweets focusing on Good Friday…I wish I had saved them to recall. I am so tired, I have my head leaned against the back of the couch. But maybe the best found its way to me straight from God during the Good Friday service held at the college I work at. Between old hymns, readings through the Passion in Matthew, and a few prayers for repentance bookended by periods of silence, this is what I heard:

He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” (Matthew 26:42 NIV)

How often do I really just want my will? What I pray is for God to honor my will. Give me_____, please Lord. All was surrendered: His body, His blood, and still more His will. As the other verses were read, I heard my story in His story. The dark days, the betrayal, the decisions, the anguish. Yes, He knows it. Although we mourn for the unbelievable gift of His body and blood, it offers the only hope we can have. Hope not just for someday when life on earth ends, but for today, right now in this moment. May you know that your story can too be found in Jesus going to the cross. Just read it. He knew your worst and took it just so you can know better days.